All Day I Dream About Statistics Rap
May 5, 2010
Dr. Aguilera said I had to take statistics
I said I did in high school
And I don’t really miss it
Pardon me
But I’m a grown ass man
How you gonna make me pay
To take math class?
He said it’s required
If you wanna get a Bachelor’s
And with that, you see more
Green
– like St. Patrick’s
I said OK
Sign me up then
Cuz a lotta people wanna see me broke
But fuck them
I walked in the class
The man had snacks
But he already knew
What he was going to ask
First I’m counting
Kinds of pants on the train
Then I’m waving at drivers
For twenty trains straight
Like a freaking mamao
A couple of ‘em came back
A second time
and looked down.
But it wasn’t
All peachy
A couple of officers
Came by to watch me briefly
They’d didn’t bother me
A bit though
I’m just glad I didn’t
Wake up in Gitmo
But tampoco
I’m not stupid
I had gone up to the clerk before and
Explained what I was doing
And tampoco
I’m not dumb
I went to Halsey St. on the L
Where the exit is right at the front
So you can observe
A statistician at work
A man working to live
Not living to work
I guess this is
How real it’s gotten
But cuz I’m tall and got a beard
Don’t make me bin Ladin
But enough – let’s talk digits
For range and midrange
You need the set’s
Upper and lower limits
For the range
Take those and subtract
You take the mean
Midrange whatcha gat
I guess I oughta say what I mean
When I say
“mean” better
Mean is one of your
Measures of center
If the mean is
Whatcha tryna get
Add the values
Then, divide
By the number in the set
Two other measures of center
Are median and mode
Median’s the middle value
When you put ‘em in a row
“But there’s 2 in the middle!”
Oh no.
Just find the mean of those 2
And you’ll be good to go
Gosh, I’m starting to sound
Like I’m an old pro
“But wasn’t there one other one?”
Oh.
The mode!
The mode
Is the number
Or numbers
Which appear the most
If there isn’t one – don’t put 0
If they all
Occur equally
Then it’s “none”
Zero is a number
It comes before 1
So that’s some measures of center
For some people
Rhyming it
Helps them remember
And I must say, Mr. Klahr,
It’s a wonder
You can really speak
A real long time about numbers
Honestly, I think
It’s a miracle, yo
The man said he was 86 years old!
But don’t you
Play with me!
You can’t be a day
Over 83!
Professor
You’ve waited so patiently
For our attitude essays And L.A.P.’s
I’m sure you all did it
Let me speak for me
This is my presentation
But could I bring the paper next week?
See, to me the most important
Number is
One
Because that made me
The Earth
And the Sun
And that one
Is what we cuh be
By day
Or by evening
Danewze 